“No, I’ve never visited the opposite sex because my parents warned us against the dangers of staying in a room alone with the opposite sex. So, I adhered to their instructions from my teenage age till now.” She explained, then continued casually.
“But when Kola and I started courting, I began to visit his house once in a while because I trusted him. But, we didn’t sleep with each other” she said and kehinde nodded his head with interest.
“Does he offer you soft drinks by himself when ever you visit him?” He asked.
“Not really, except on few occasions. I served myself with whatever I wanted” she explained trying hard to understand what he was driving at.
“Alright, tell me,” Kehinde said remembering how he used to drug naive church girls with sleeping pills before having sex with them.
“Was there any day you visited him and slept off after drinking or eating anything? I mean, you just had a sip or two and suddenly started feeling sleepy…” He asked, looking into her eyes as he demonstrated with his hands. Sade tried to recall if such thing ever happened but couldn’t recall any of such incident.
“Uhm… No, I can’t remember anything like that. Kola cannot even be in the same room with me and leave me to sleep..” She explained and he cut in immediately as her word triggered up another thought within him.
“Really?” He asked rhetorically then continued,
“So what do both you do when ever you go visiting him?” He asked cunningly and waited for a response as he observed her uneasiness.
“What we do?” She asked searching her mind for an answer.
“We …sat down to plan for our wedding..” She said without confidence in herself.
“Sade tell me the truth” Kehinde cuts in noticing she was not saying the whole thing.
“Was romances involved in what two of you do when ever you visited him?” He asked and observed her fallen countenance, she suddenly became ashamed and lowered her head.
” Come’on… Speak up ! There’s nothing I’ve not seen or heard under the sun. Remember we had an agreement that you have to tell me everything without shyness or cover up. Are you ready to talk or I…” He asked and she interrupted him.
“Yes” she replied, trying to act bold and continued.
“When we started courting, Kola and I agreed to keep chaste till our wedding night and we abided by it, until about six months later that he started asking me to kiss him in the mouth. I refused and he got angry, stating that he was not asking me for sex but just a kiss to prove my love for him. I disagreed with him and maintained my stand that kissing someone you are not married to is also immorality, and Kola became bittered against me. The remaining months of the first year of our courtship, Kola was always acting cold towards me because I refused to kiss him. I couldn’t resist his constant demand for a kiss for long , so in the second year, I decided to please him since it wasn’t sex he was asking for..” She narrated without looking at Kehinde,she breathed down and continued.
” I started allowing him to kiss me deeply even when my conscience pricked me against it. Then, as if that was not enough, Kola started making advances to my body, touching my breasts and other sensitive body parts. I stopped him and even decided I wouldn’t be visiting his house again, but he got upset and began to see faults in everything I did.
“This thing you are doing is wrong o, I don’t want to lose my virginity” I complained bitterly but he didn’t hear me out.
” I’m not asking you for sex, I only want to feel my woman. Is that too much to ask? ” he barked at me one evening.
“Ewo Sade mi,(see my Sade) ” he called me sweetly, held my hands into his and said,
“You can be a technical virgin, it won’t change anything” Kola said persuasively.
“Technical virgin?” I asked and he nodded in the affirmative.
“What’s the difference?” I asked because that was my first time of hearing it.
“Nothing” he said with seriousness, trying to convince me,then continued.
“The only thing there is that, you and I will be deriving sexual pleasure from each other through smooching, caressing of sensitive body parts and the likes while waiting for our wedding night. You will still remain a virgin because, there would be no penetration of the sex organ” Kola explained but I found the idea irritating and refused.
“I can’t do that” I objected, ” immorality is still immorality regardless of the beautiful name you call it.” I said and stood up and left his house.
From that day, he changed totally and became very aggressive towards me and everything that has to do with me. Sometimes, I will tell him to come with me to the mountain for prayers, he will insist we do the prayers in his room. I was supposed to go to the mountain with him that day those rascals nearly raped me, but he asked me to come to his house first and I knew that there was no way I would go there and come out the same way, so I refused. Do you know that because i refused to go to his house Kola did not talk to me for weeks?” She asked rhetorically, then continued.
“One day, I came back from church and met my roommate and her friend who was a pastor’s daughter having a serious discussion about their relationships. Then I heard the pastor’s daughter saying that she was a technical virgin and didn’t want to lose her virginity, and that she only allowed her man to touch and kiss her. I was surprised when I heard her still referred to herself as a virgin even when she did those things. So I came to a conclusion that Kola was right, and that I can still be a virgin even when I allow Kola to touch my sensitive body parts.” She said and breathed down heavily.
“I started visiting his house again and allowed him do whatever he wanted with my body, but we didn’t have sex…”